Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
