did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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