You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
