A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
