Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize