I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
