He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
