fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
