How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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