mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
