He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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