check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
