If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
