Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
