How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
