so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
