if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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