I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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