oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
