I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize