Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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