Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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