I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize