Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
