i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
