just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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