i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
