If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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