You just made me feel so damn special
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
