Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
