So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You are the jesus of drinking
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
