Me too!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
