hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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