Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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