she looked like the before picture.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
