Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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