Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize