dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am available for nakedness
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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