Define "chronic" masturbator.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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