If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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