if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
