Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
