Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
