yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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