That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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