she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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