I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
