are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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