Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
