6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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