I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize