and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
