My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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