You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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