mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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