fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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