So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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