My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just gift wrapped bread.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
