She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize