omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize