So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
