i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
