You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
