I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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