I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
