Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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