i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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