we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
