I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
