Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
