He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She's the barista slut.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You pole danced in your parka.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
